Reach Alee, my husband, in Thailand was easier than I thought: my daughter eight months has made the journey with curiosity and sleeping most of the time. To hear all we could not have ever made to face "alone" trip 14 hours on the other side of the world: the child will be able to get to sleep? What do you do if he cries? AND IF WE DO NOT WANT TO BE A PLANE 12 HOURS? Indeed, I was very distressed, but then going about ...
The mothers who are traveling with a baby are entitled to the first row and the hostesses have even blocked a seat next to mine so I could move freely. In addition to a backpack full of diapers, onesies and bodysuits exchange, jars with jelly and my computer, I could count on the wing and on the pillow to breastfeed. Range and pillow have been fundamental since they allowed me and the baby to move and to keep some habits. Due to the pillow I nursed comfortably, while the band allowed me to change positions - stiracchiarmi, stretch your legs-and to move with Lanna close, For example when I went to the bathroom! Those concerns that I did sleep all night – 12 flight hours, the pitch dark in air, confusion in a city as Bangkok airport, change to Phuket – proved to be a new experience for my child to be observed between a nap and the other. I think the fear of the journey actually hiding something else ...
Before leaving I found myself face to face with the feeling of loneliness that often lives a mother in the presence of their child. While this sentiment is human, at the same time I think it is loaded with prejudices, or judgments, considerations, thoughts that come from the social environment in which I live. If I analyze the situation I understand that the fear of facing this long journey was linked to a decision that came from the common sense. In other words, I was going to do something that I had never heard him do in any other mom. While preparing the suitcases to Thailand, I had in mind an imaginary group of mothers who said: children must have the routine, sleep in their bed, respect the times and go to bed when it's time ... I could go on and on!!! The speeches of these ladies were crippling me, because, I do not deny, the status of a mother can open a huge door on fears, insecurities and feelings of inadequacy towards everything related to motherhood and the choices of a mom. I had decided to leave, in front of me was opening a road that I did not know where it would lead or perhaps I knew very well, but the point is another! I did not expect to be able to deal with my daughter on a journey that I had already done many times alone. Fears and insecurities in the end I did not have dried up but they are games with me, only in this way I was able to resize them and deny them. I felt different and daring than a "classic" way of being a mother, although "the classic mom" was just a thought in my head contaminated.
I believe when I say that the most difficult task for a mother is to reorganize thoughts to establish, about any decision taken (whether it is due to the feeding of their child or to transfer to another continent!) which they belong and which are not, what are his own judgments and deep thoughts and which are contaminants that originate from other. Clarified that "the distances are shortened," and the feeling of loneliness that is felt becomes sustainable. I realized that I was experiencing fears transmitted by common sense and was transferring the child. This awareness has allowed me to leave for my trip having more confidence in the resilience of my child and, I hope, in my way of being a mom.
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